How to Choose an Engagement Ring that Becomes a Family Heirloom

A thoughtful guide to finding an ethical and ethereal engagement ring: 6 tips & an edit of rings I’d wear forever.

When my husband proposed to me, the box didn’t have a ring. Instead, it held a note that said: Let’s go ring shopping! He knows how particular I am about what I like and your engagement ring is the one piece you’ll wear every single day!

We went to a local jeweler who guided us through everything—diamond quality, precious metal options, ring sizing. We easily spent three hours talking with him and ended up designing a one-of-a-kind piece: a platinum eternity ring with delicate details. One of my favorite parts of the experience was how much we got to learn.

In this guide, I’m sharing my main takeaways from our ring shopping experience, so you (or your partner) can find an engagement ring that stands the test of time—and maybe even becomes a family heirloom. At the end of the article, I'll add an edit of rings I love from ethical brands.

6 TIPS TO CHOOSE AN HEIRLOOM-WORTHY RING

01 — Choose timeless over trendy

Think classic silhouettes, natural shapes, and traditional styles like solitaires, a three-stone setting or an eternity ring. These designs have stood the test of time and they carry a kind of quiet elegance.

02 — Instead of silver, choose white gold or platinum

Sterling silver is beautiful but soft, it scratches easily and tarnishes over time. For something meant to last generations, choose metals like platinum or white gold, which are more durable and better suited for daily wear.

03 — Go for 18K gold or above

The karat number tells you how pure the gold is. In its purest form, gold is a very soft metal and too delicate for everyday wear, so it’s often alloyed with other metals. At 18K you have a 75% purity level. Higher-karat gold is richer in color, more hypoallergenic, and ages beautifully with minimal fading.

04 — Choose lab-grown diamonds or ethical sourced ones

These options avoid the environmental damage and labor concerns often tied to traditional mining. Many independent brands now use traceable, responsibly sourced, or lab-created gemstones and they’re creating some of the most beautiful rings out there. I curated a selection of over 40 rings for you on ShopMy.

05 — Buy from smaller brands

Independent designers aren’t bound by the demands of large-scale production, which means they can focus more on intentional design, sourcing responsibly, and working with high-quality materials. You’re also supporting a creative business that likely shares your values.

06 — Keep learning

The more you know, the better choices you’ll make. We went to a small jeweler to have rings custom-made and it changed everything. We learned about stone grading, how different metals wear and how design styles have evolved. Don’t be afraid to ask questions!

THE ETHICAL & ETHEREAL ENGAGEMENT RING EDIT

I’ve curated a selection of stunning heirloom-worthy pieces from ethical designers on my ShopMy page and am highlighting some stand-out pieces below.

01 — MATILDE JEWELLERY | Everlasting Ring

02 — AURATE | Pear Cut Tapered Baguette Diamond Ring

03 — BRILLIANT EARTH | 18k Yellow Gold Curved Versailles Diamond Ring

04 — CATBIRD NYC | Swan Lake Diamond Ring

05 — KIMAI JEWELRY I Joan Oval Ring

06 — AURATE | Three-Prong Lab Grown Diamond Eternity Ring

07 — KIMAI JEWELRY I Maya Pavé Oval Ring

08 — CATBIRD NYC | Daphne Solitaire Emerald Cut Diamond Ring

09 — AURATE | Emerald-Cut Floral Diamond Ring

10 — CATBIRD NYC | Leda the Swan Diamond Ring

11 — CATBIRD | Juno The Swan Diamond Ring

12 — BRILLIANT EARTH | Lab Grown 18k White Gold Symphony Three Stone Diamond Ring

I hope this brought you a spark of inspiration. I’d love to hear your thoughts, please feel free to share them in the comments. And if you know someone who might enjoy this newsletter too, don’t hesitate to pass it along. Wishing you a beautiful day, and thank you so much for reading!

x Sarah

P.S. I just started a Subscriber Chat! I’d love for you to be a part of it and join the conversation. I’ll share more recommendations in there, as well as discount codes, pop-ups of slow fashion and clean beauty brands & more.